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Dear Mistress: Updates!

Dear Faithful Followers,

Last week I asked for feedback from some of you who were seeking guidance or suggestions. Holy shit – did you guys deliver?! I am thrilled to know that some of you have either tried some of the products that I have recommended or felt empowered enough to jump into the unknown. I feel like a proud mama bird watching her fledglings balancing on the edge of the nest with shaky little legs – finally brave enough to take a leap and find their kinky wings.

Thank you for trusting me and for allowing me to give you little nudges of encouragement. Please continue to share your stories. We can all help and inspire others.

With gratitude,

Dear Mistress

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From Dear Mistress on May 29th

Click to read the original question and answer


Dear Mistress,

It has been an interesting few weeks! Have you ever wanted to do something just for yourself? After discussing my situation with you (Mistress) a little more in-depth, and working together to set up my online kink profile, I went to my first newcomer’s meeting and munch. They were the first things I had done for myself in YEARS.

I was nervous, anxious, excited. I had no idea what to expect. I mean, what does vanilla really mean? I had you cheering me along and giving me tips, and I walked in to a group of people who were genuinely glad to see me.

My community sponsors a newcomer’s meeting before their munch where they talk about the munches, special interest groups, classes, parties, and expectations. We also discussed rules for party nights, what kind of playing you may see, what is acceptable to wear or not wear. They made me feel so welcome.

Then came my first munch! It was a setup for the party that weekend. Everyone came in and introduced themselves. There was a lot of hugging; we were warned in the newcomer’s meeting that my community is a “huggy” bunch.

It was a blast. My community isn’t afraid to ask questions or answer them. My boobs were complimented more than once! Not in an uncomfortable way, but I felt like a sex goddess by the time I left. I have been able to build friendships with several people I met at the munch. They message to check on my day and to let me know what is going on. I have NEVER felt support like this.

I get to munch again this weekend. It will be great to see everyone again and meet a few new people.

I have really gotten a lot out of FetLife. It has let me connect to several Dominants, both online and those I met in real life. It has been a good way to chat and not give out personal information. The Dominants that I have met have been very understanding of my sticky personal situation. They have taken time to get to know what I am looking for. A few have asked me some very difficult questions that I hadn’t even thought about. It has actually been very helpful in my real life.

I didn’t realize exactly how much I missed myself. My identify isn’t dependent on someone else. That is an amazing feeling. There is one that has taken the time to get to know me. He has taken time to understand my needs and even though he has never touched me, he has made me cum in ways that I didn’t think possible. I have never felt so alive!

I’m still very new, and still have a lot to learn, but I can’t stress enough how much you have helped me when I was confused, or had questions I thought might be stupid. I also can’t stress enough how wonderful it is to do something for ME. The confidence I have gained from my experience so far is awesome. I can’t wait to attend a few classes and get more involved. So I’ll continue to keep you in the loop.

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From Dear Mistress on May 1st

Click to read the original question and answer


Dear Mistress,

I wanted to thank you for your recommendation of the threesome massage oil candles. They were incredible! Not only did they provide romantic ambiance, but scented the air as well, adding to the overall scene I was trying to set. But that’s not even the best part.

When it melted, the oil was the perfect temperature for pouring onto bare skin, just enough heat to get the blood pumping. The massage lasted quite long, with plenty of oil to cover all the areas that interested me. Finally, the BEST part…

The hell, yes, I’m licking it off part! I was surprised by the great taste of all three flavors. I was expecting it to have a chapstick-like taste, but it was pleasant and smooth tasting. Thank you again for the guidance. I look forward to discovering more fun products!

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From Dear Mistress on January 23rd

Click to read the original question and answer


Dear Mistress,

It seems like forever ago since I walked into my first munch. I remember being so nervous. I remember PM’ing you from my car for that last minute push of confidence.

I made a deal with myself as I walked in the door that I would introduce myself to the first ten people, and then I would find a place to sit and strike up a conversation. My plan was to arrive on time as I figured I would be one of the first people there so I could make my introductions as they walked into and get to a seat.

First munch … I met so many people!!!! Once I introduced myself to the first few people, it took off from there and soon I was being introduced as new people came into the meeting room.

Since that first munch, I have been to several different munches in my area. I have learned that each munch has a different vibe even if some of the same people overlap. I have also attended a class that the community has offered on the BDSM lifestyle protocols.

So, I have cleared the ‘vetting’ processing and am now able to attend the in-home month demo on ropes! One point that is important to make, at no point has anyone pressured me to participate in any activity. What a relief! I have been asked if I was interested, and when I explained I was only exploring at this point, it was respected.

Presently, I am not seeking a play partner, and that has been very cool with everyone that I have come in contact with in my area. There is a lot going on in my local community. I have made some new friends and am looking forward to attending my first play party (as an observer). It all started with me taking the first step and attending my first munch!

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About Dear Mistress

Do you have a question for our resident Dear Mistress?

She’s experienced in all things BDSM, power exchange, and general knowledge of anything outside of traditional vanilla relationships. With over 25 years in the lifestyle behind her, she continues to live what she preaches and she’s sharing what she knows with us.

Nothing is off limits. NOTHING. Too embarrassed to ask a friend or afraid your search history will be discovered? Ask Dear Mistress!

Authors: Are you writing a book with BDSM? Ask the Mistress! Just make sure you include your name and email address in the question submission box, and she’ll email you personally.

Check back every #BDSMFriday for the answers to your questions.

Want to know more from the Lady in Charge? Visit Dear Mistress’s earlier contributions.[/alert]

Dear Mistress

Hi. My name is Angie, and I’m a social-media-and-smut-book-reading addict. Hi…Angie… I’ve been working hard on the magical internet since 2006 when I retired from teaching elementary school to stay at home with my two baby girls. Now, I am a smut peddler. You can follow my nonsense on Twitter and Facebook. Simply, I’m just a girl, looking at the book world, asking it to love her.

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