A few weeks ago, we were honored with the presence of Mistress Z. Getting to delve into the mind of a practicing Mistress was so well-received that she wanted to answer your questions.
Mistress Z is new to me so I would like to know everything about her
I’m flattered. Thank you.
Did you ever feel the need to submit?
I only have once in my life and that feeling hasn’t come back around. I was terrible at submitting – constantly pushing limits. I would have driven myself crazy if I stayed in that situation. Now that’s not to say that I don’t enjoy being worked over with certain tools…I do. But under my direction and needs. I enjoy the release that the pain provides, but again, it needs to be on my terms. Always.
Oh lord……That was a great interview!
Thank you!! It was MY pleasure.
Love the interview ❤ I agree with Mistress Z, David Gandy is sexiest man alive!
He makes me growl. I would love to get my hands on him.
Great job… loved the insight.
It was my pleasure to give you a glimpse inside of my life.
Thank you so much for the interesting interview!
It was an honor to participate, thank you.
Any words of wisdom to someone new to the BDSM world?
Absolutely. Have an open mind and the guts to try new things. There are so many types of kink – some of which may make you nervous, but may also set you free. Just remember to always have open communication with your partner. If you do not trust them to keep you safe, move along. It always needs to be SAFE, SANE, AND CONSENSUAL. No exceptions.
What’s your favorite item for your pet to wear?
Good question! If my pet is male, I demand that he wear jeans and nothing else. No shirt, no boxers, and he must have bare feet. Depending on my plan, I may also require a 5-point harness to which I can attach implements to if I desire. For a female, I prefer a corset and panties, hair down unless I instruct otherwise, bare feet.
I know you said you don’t share your pet but do you share yourself? Meaning, do you ever have more than one pet at a time? And The Giving Tree is my favorite book too!!!
I am extremely possessive, so I do not like to share. I prefer to own my pet’s/submissive’s pleasure. And yes, I compartmentalize my life, so it is very normal for me to have more than one pet/submissive at any given time. My relationship and dynamic with each one is unique.
Depeche Mode is a smexy fave of mine as well! Excellent interview, Kyleigh!
You have great taste, Karalee.
Another awesome interview Kyleigh. I now have a major crush on Mistress Z. Wow. Very impressed. I know a few people in the lifestyle and my friends would love to meet up with her that is for sure. She sounds amazing.
Very kind of you to say, thank you. I am always up for meeting new people.
Thank you, Pam. Kyleigh was quite a delectable partner.
You like control, are you strict about your diet and what you put into your body?
Great question – yes. I try not to eat meat unless I am in dire need of protein. If I do, chicken only. I do not care for tofu or eggs, so in order to keep my strength, sometimes I must – but I do not enjoy it. I do not smoke or do drugs of any kind. I do drink alcohol socially. And just like my sexual indulgences, I do love to indulge in the occasional piece of cake – especially chocolate.
What is the best way for one to get started in BDSM?
Start discussing what you would like to try with like-minded individuals. Join an online community such as FetLife and start to explore. There are a lot of crazies in the world, so be careful! Start light – there is no need to jump into the deep end right out of the gate. If you have a current sexual partner – try some light bondage to see how you both respond. If you like it, start to expand your horizons. But if you do – talk it through!
Fabulous interview! If she no longer goes to clubs and plays privately, how does she meet her subs? While the exclusivity of the lifestyle may have been hurt with the explosion of FSOG, has there been an influx of new people to the lifestyle that weren’t necessarily aware of it before? Serious participants – not the curious who have a romanticized notion of the lifestyle.
Thank you! I have no issue meeting pet/submissive candidates. I have been in the lifestyle for so long, they tend to gravitate toward me – out of sheer curiosity. However I can only play with someone who I have a connection with – it’s a very intimate scenario and one that I cannot bring a stranger into. I have a rule that I do not play with strangers who I have not developed a connection with, nor do I play with close friends from my vanilla life. Online communities help as well for others in the lifestyle, but I have not relied on them personally.
For the second part of the question, yes! A massive influx. Many of which never knew this subculture even existed. I personally have seen an influx of more women than men – especially women over 30 years of age.
Great interview, as expected.
Major props to that vixen Kyleigh and to everyone who submitted questions – they were spot on.
When did she know she was a Dominant?
I have had a domineering personality since birth. I did not embrace the lifestyle until I was 17. It took many years to educate myself and get comfortable with the role of Mistress – not in the confidence sense, but education-wise. I did not accept the title of Mistress until I was in my mid-twenties. I personally feel those who come out of the gate demanding roles for themselves are on a power trip – and their play partners should proceed with caution. Inexperience and naivety can get people hurt in this lifestyle. I have zero respect for that behavior.
Excellent interview. What is your “aftercare” like? Have you ever sent your pet to sub space?
Thank you. Aftercare is essential and is just as, if not more important than the preparation and scene itself. Scenes can be heavy experiences – both mentally and physically. Coming to from subspace is different for everyone. I love to bathe my partners and make them comfortable and warm. Hydration is a must, and sugar is sometimes needed. I also massage any areas that have had contact with restraints or tools. They have given themselves to me for my pleasure and aftercare is a way to honor that gift – it’s extremely important.
Your favorite sex word / phrase is: cunt. What is your least favorite sex word/phrase?
If you say the phrase “make love” to me, I will want to hurt you – and not in a good way. I hate it. I am not about the soft & romantic.
What an amazing interview!!!!
What made you go into the dominant role?
Nature. I did not choose this personality – I was born with it.
Is there anything at all about the life style that you don’t really like?
Yes, absolutely. Posers and people on a power-trip. If you don’t take it seriously or are out to inflate your ego, I want no part of you.
Interesting! Very very thought provoking interview that I could of sat through all day!
Me too! Have you gotten a look at Kyleigh??
About Kyleigh Jane
I suppose I was introduced to romance at an early age. When I was around 10 years old, I happened upon a highlighted and dog eared copy of “The Joy Of Sex” on my mother’s bookshelf. I was shocked. I was fascinated. Maybe it was the 1970s power muffs, maybe it was the mustaches, maybe it was phrases such as “tongue bath”, who knows. A couple of years later it was V.C. Andrews “Flowers In The Attic,” which upon discovery, my mom took away from me. From there I chugged along reading Danielle Steel novels, until one day, a little book called “Fifty Shades Of Grey” came along. It was a sirens call. It was everything I never knew I wanted. I was hooked. My love of reading romance blossomed into a new love for erotica, and I haven’t stopped reading since. I have a love for stories with grit, and substance, and meat on their bones. The dark stories, the format breakers, the unusual. I’m always searching for that next great read.