Articles from Dear Mistress

Dear Mistress’s Deviant Days of December

Looking for the perfect naughty gift for you or maybe a close family member? Deviant Days of December are here!


Dear Mistress: D, Anonymous, H.S.

Since it’s Thanksgiving, I wanted to take this opportunity to give thanks to everyone who came out to see me in October at #Shameless17! I had an amazing time and was so impressed with your questions and comments. Watching your faces as I was speaking was thrilling (as was the occasional flicker strike).

Speaking of Shameless Book Con, we’re doing Dear Mistress Q&A again at #Shameless18! More info is at the end of this post.

Due to time constraints, we did not have enough time to get to all of the questions that were (for the most part) anonymously submitted, so I want to answer them now.

Dear Mistress,

Nora’s favorite toy is her riding crop. Do you have a favorite?

Dear D,

I do; I have two. The first is my 5’ single tail bullwhip. I’ve had it for well over a decade and it’s broken in and an extension of my arm. It feels like it’s a part of me and rightfully so. It took months of training to learn how to use it. It’s brutal and loud and I love it. I don’t always have the opportunity to use it given the space required, but it will always be my ultimate.

The second is my flicker. I’m sure you saw me hold it up at the Q&A and also give a few curiosity strikes to a few attendees. It’s also known as a dressage whip. It has a thin, flexible shaft with a comfortable handle on one end and a popper on the other. They are usually available between 36-47” in length and they are beautifully balanced and lightweight. With just a slight flick of the wrist, it delivers a sharp, precise strike that immediately warms and welts the skin.

Dear Mistress,

What is your favorite punishment to give out?

Dear Anonymous,

I can’t say that I have actual favorites because it really needs to fit the scenario and every scenario is different. I will say that whatever I do, regardless if it can be considered a “punishment” or not, is done for impact and to get my point across. If there is something that I need to draw attention to, address, or emphasize, it comes out in the form of strikes that are meant to make the recipient focus and pay attention to what I am saying. I don’t like to have open-ended deliveries either. I prefer to have the strikes counted out, as I give an amount to be expected ahead of time. I find that makes the submissive stay focused.

If you’re referring to the most brutal punishment that I can deliver, well, that would be indifference. Since the dynamic is based on a mutual need and feeding off of each other for specific needs, it is through insouciance that the submissive feels the harshest of punishments. After all, attention is like a drug.

Dear Mistress,

My husband is finally (after 20 years) fulfilling my fantasies in rope bondage. What are some resources for him to learn technique/training? Are munches or clubs a good option?

Dear H.S.,

How exciting! It […]


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