Five Card Studs by Madison Faye

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Five Card Studs by Madison Faye

Favorite Quotes

Slowly, we stand, holding her tight and sandwiching her tight between us. I kiss her slowly, letting her taste her own sweetness on my lips and groaning as she kisses me harder for it. “Okay, what was that?” She gasps, a huge smile on her face as she buries it in my broad chest. “That, beautiful, was just us getting started.
I needed to mark you,” he growls, grinning at me as he slowly kisses me deeply. “The five us do share, but for now —for this moment —you’re mine.” I melt into him, and I’m opening my lips to kiss him when suddenly, I freeze. “I’m sorry, did you just say five?” Vince grins, his brows arching wickedly. “Me, Gaige, Dane, Noah, and Luke. The five us are closer than brothers, and also the co-owners of Lume.” There are five of them. My pulse skips a naughty, dirty beat as his eyes burn right into mine. “There are five us that own this place, Tess. And we all share everything.

Other Stories by Madison Faye:

Bad Habit (Bad Love Book 1) by Charleigh Rose

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Bad Habit (Bad Love Book 1) by Charleigh Rose

Favorite Quotes

I want to wrap that golden hair around my fist and smash my lips into hers. Make her pay for what she did as I fuck her punishingly from behind.  
“How do you want to come then?”

“The only way I’ve ever wanted to. With you inside me.”

I feel a delicate hand rub my thigh, and though I know her attempt is to calm me down, she’s doing the opposite. She’s making my dick hard, and all I want is to fuck her, right here and now, to prove that she belongs to me. Only me.
“You’re so fucking beautiful like this.” We’re sweating and panting, completely animalistic. “Look at them, Briar. Look at them when you come on my cock. Anyone could look up at any moment.” I place my arms on top of hers, my hands covering hers that grip the rail, and I nip at her spine. “They’d act appalled, but they’d go home and jerk themselves off to this image. I promise you that.” 

Other Stories by Charleigh Rose:

Caged by Clarissa Wild

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Caged by Clarissa Wild

Favorite Quotes

For all these years, her body went untouched, and it doesn’t know how to respond to a man like me. Doesn’t know how to yield. But I’ll show her. With my body, I’ll teach her how to submit.
I can’t stop looking at her. Can’t stop falling into the depths of her eyes. I don’t ever wanna crawl back out. If this is hell, I’d stay if it meant I got to spend more time with her.
I dive straight into her pussy, claiming it with my mouth. She arches her back on the bed, her mouth wide open as I lick and suck as much as I can. I don’t need experience to know what she likes. The only thing I need is to hear her moan and feel her squirm.

Other Stories by Clarissa Wild :

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Clarissa Wild is signed up and ready to meet YOU at Shameless Book Con 2017!

If you haven’t purchased your tickets yet, you can do so HERE!

 Clarissa Wild

Clarissa Wild is a New York Times & USA Today Bestselling author, best known for the dark Romance novel Mr. X. Her novels include the Fierce Series, the Delirious Series, the Stalker Duology, Twenty-One (21), Ultimate Sin, Viktor, and Bad Teacher. She is also a writer of various erotic romances. She is an avid reader and writer of sexy stories about hot men and feisty women. Her other loves include her furry cat friend and learning about different cultures. In her free time she enjoys watching all sorts of movies, reading tons of books and cooking her favorite meals.

~WebsiteFacebookTwitter

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Dear Mistress: Curious, (M)istress, Panty Paranoid, Perfectly Normal

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Dear Mistress: Curious, (M)istress, Panty Paranoid, Perfectly Normal

Dear Mistress Dear Mistress,
Since the release of Fifty Shades, there is much more discussion of the BDSM lifestyle. I was always curious about one aspect. Those in the lifestyle, is it 24/7, just during sexy time, or just occasionally? If you are a Dominate, Mistress, or sub, do you ever have vanilla sex too? Or is the act of BDSM what gets you off? Thanks for the insight.
~Curious

Dear Curious,
You’re correct – since the release of the books (and movie), there has suddenly been an increased interest in finding out about all things BDSM. This once very shrouded lifestyle is now borderline mainstream. It’s good that some might be able to find a way to have their needs fulfilled now that more people are aware of the options, but it’s also frustrating to those of us who prefer to stay underground.

Moving on… It’s DOMINANT. Dominate is the act; Dominant is the role. As far as if the dynamic is 24/7 or only during sexy time, it can be whatever you want it to be. If you desire to live your dynamic at all times, and you have a willing partner with the same needs, that will work for you.

Dear Mistress: Curious, (M)istress, Panty Paranoid, Perfectly Normal http://shamelessbookclub.com/book-news/dear-mistress-volume-xxvii/I don’t want you to confuse sexy time with BDSM. The BDSM lifestyle is not about sex. It’s about psychological control and the power exchange first. Whether or not you add sex into your dynamic is up to you. That said, anyone in the lifestyle can have vanilla sex as well as kinky sex – it’s up to them.

If your craving for dominance is solely sexual dominance, that might be what gets you off. Just keep in mind that everyone is different. Each person has different needs. Bottom line – you make your BDSM dynamic whatever you need it to be. It’s not a “one size fits all” lifestyle.

If you want to learn more about the lifestyle, this is a good place to start:

Domination & Submission: The BDSM Relationship Handbook

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Dear Mistress,
Is my gf trying to feminize me by even suggesting me wearing her panties? Or is it in my head?

Dear Panty Paranoid,
Chances are if she wants you to put on her panties, she’s either into humiliation or she has a panty fetish; it’s not always about forced feminization. Lots of women find it incredibly sexy when they see their partner donning their silky unmentionables. It can be a huge turn-on.

Dear Mistress: Curious, (M)istress, Panty Paranoid, Perfectly Normal http://shamelessbookclub.com/book-news/dear-mistress-volume-xxvii/I’ve read about the reasons behind this, and one interesting theory was because a woman’s panties are just that – hers. They don’t get worn by anyone else; rarely seen by anyone else. And they are up close and personal with the most feminine part of her body, only to be discarded into the hamper with the most primal part of her – her scent – still clinging to the fabric. She is, essentially, seeing the most intimate part of her on YOU.

I’m not saying this is the case for your girlfriend; this is just one theory. But, if this gets her off? Awesome. I would stop making this about her trying to feminize you and start giving into how pleasurable it will be for her. After all, it takes a woman with balls to admit to her partner that she wants to see them in her panties. Have fun with it and most importantly, thank her for sharing her desires with you.

Want to learn more about sexual fetishes? This is a good source:

Fetish Sex: A Complete Guide to Sexual Fetishes

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Dear Mistress,
Hi there, I am the mistress to my partner and he is adament that he would now like me to knock him out. Do you think this is possible? If so, what is the safest way to achieve this? Thanks

Dear (M)istress,
Do I think it’s possible? Yes.

What is the safest way to knock him out? The safest way is to NOT knock him out. Be safe AND smart, please.

BE SAFE!

As Kinky as You Wanna Be: Your Guide to Safe, Sane and Smart BDSM

Dear Mistress: Curious, (M)istress, Panty Paranoid, Perfectly Normal http://shamelessbookclub.com/book-news/dear-mistress-volume-xxvii/

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Dear Mistress,
My husband and I have a very unconventional marriage. In our day to day lives I am the dominant one. I’m the more outspoken one, I’m the one that deals with problems and making sure he is taken care of. I’m also the one that deals with other people. But at night when we finally have our alone time, he is more dominant. He takes full control in the bedroom. Why is it that our roles are reversed as soon as we’re alone? And why only sexually?

Dear Perfectly Normal,
There is nothing out of the ordinary about what you just asked. That is the way it is for a lot of couples. The “dominant by day, sexually submissive by night” role is a common one. During the day, you run the household, business, finances, etc., and you get the opportunity to let all of that go when it comes to sex. That is how you escape your mind and release stress and the multitude of obligations you have in your daily life.

Dear Mistress: Curious, (M)istress, Panty Paranoid, Perfectly Normal http://shamelessbookclub.com/book-news/dear-mistress-volume-xxvii/

The same goes for your husband. He may be more passive during day-to-day activities, allowing you or his boss (if he is not the boss) to take the lead. Doing so most likely keeps him calm. However, you are his outlet – the one who allows him to take everything that he has stored up by taking the backseat during the day, and release his suppressed aggression. Actually, the Alpha Dominant (someone who is in control of all things, at all times – personally, sexually, kink, etc.) is not as common. Most people need a release or an escape, and they find that by either submitting or dominating. What you described sounds like a very healthy balance.

About Dear Mistress

Do you have a question for our resident Dear Mistress?

She’s experienced in all things BDSM, power exchange, and general knowledge of anything outside of traditional vanilla relationships. With over 25 years in the lifestyle behind her, she continues to live what she preaches and she’s sharing what she knows with us.

Nothing is off limits. NOTHING. Too embarrassed to ask a friend or afraid your search history will be discovered? Ask Dear Mistress!

Authors: Are you writing a book with BDSM? Ask the Mistress! Just make sure you include your name and email address in the question submission box, and she’ll email you personally.

Check back every #BDSMFriday – or whenever it pleases her – for the answers to your questions.

Want to know more from the Lady in Charge? Visit Dear Mistress’s earlier contributions.

Dear Mistress: Adventurous Neophyte, Title Curious, Vanilla Bean, Disrespected

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Dear Mistress: Adventurous Neophyte, Title Curious, Vanilla Bean, Disrespected

Dear Mistress

Angelica Kauffmann - Portrait of a Woman Dressed as Vestal Virgin - WGA12101So, I never had a boyfriend in person (only online) so that pretty much means I haven’t done the “deed” yet. I joined FetLife to look around and learn more, and this girl I chatted with is looking for another “baby girl” for her Dom. They are in a relationship. I exchanged messages with both of them and they are interested in me joining them.

My problem is I’m a very jealous person. I told this to him and he said that me and her will be treated equally. If I do accept their offer, he would like to get to know more about me so he can decide which collar he’ll give me.

They are not rushing me at all. I’m glad about that because I don’t want to make a decision without thinking everything through. I’m interested, but I know it won’t end well for me. I think I’ll always feel second. I know I should decline, but I don’t get what’s stopping me. Even if I do decline, I’d still meet her and maybe we’ll be better off as friends. Any advice will be much appreciated.

Dear Adventurous Neophyte,

First, let me say that I commend you for searching for what you want and being brave enough to ask for advice. Second, taking that huge step should be done on your terms and when you feel completely comfortable. If you are a jealous person, that type of dynamic will do way more harm than good. If you can be friends with them WITHOUT OBLIGATION, I would suggest that instead. That will allow you to learn more about the lifestyle so you can decide what is best for you.

Jumping into the BDSM world can seem really fun and exciting because it’s new and everything is amplified. It’s a lifestyle that is filled with pushing limits and sensation, but what a lot of folks don’t understand is the commitments are even more intense than that of a traditional marriage. Accepting a collar so quickly is a HUGE red flag for me – a big no-no in my book – and something that I’m strongly against for someone who is just starting to explore. You need to find out which dynamic appeals to you the most and will fulfill you.

My advice is to do your homework. Go to munches. Meet lots of folks. The right dynamic for you will become evident in time. More importantly, give the gift of your virginity (not only your submission, if that is what you decide you want) to someone who earns it and will be focused on you 100%. You only get to do that once. I’m always here if you want to talk.

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Dear Mistress, 

How do you know when a Dom is a true Dom? Do they just come out and tell you? Or is there a proper way of telling someone?

Dear Title Curious,  
I would hope that the person you are speaking with would be honest with you. Normally, a true Dominant’s personality will give it away 9 times out of 10 – at least that has been the case with my experience. If you are referring to their role in the lifestyle, you can ask questions that will help you learn their history or what they are into.Hello My Name is Mistress

If you are looking to interview new potential Dominants, I would ask for a history and also references from friends, other Dominants, past submissives, and also anyone they have mentored. Because there are so many frauds these days and people who assume the title without earning the title, I completely understand your concern. This is your safety that is being put on the line, so don’t be afraid to ask for references.

As for a “proper” way to tell someone, that depends on the situation. If it is just casual conversation, I would think that once you are comfortable enough with someone, it should feel very natural to tell them what you are. If it doesn’t, they probably don’t need to know. If you are active in the BDSM community and attend munches, chances are someone’s role/title will be included when you are introduced to them. We tend to like to make our roles known in the beginning. It is not uncommon to meet someone and hear, “This is John. He is the Master of so-and-so…,” that way you know right away who belongs to Master John, which also serves as a warning not to approach John’s slave/submissive.

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Dear Mistress, 

I am what you would call a newbie – or vanilla – to this lifestyle. It excites me to read about the lifestyle and to follow people who are part of this lifestyle, however I have no clue where to begin to become part of this lifestyle. I do not have a partner at this time and have not for a while, but I do know that I want more than what I have had in the past. What and where would you suggest a vanilla person start?

VanillaDear Vanilla Bean,

I think it’s wonderful that you are going through a period of self-discovery. If you can figure out what you DO want, that is half the battle. As I have discussed in the past, it is best to jump into the lifestyle by meeting and talking with people in your local community.

Get started by joining an online community such as FetLife and search for your local events. You can attend munches in your area, which are casual get-togethers in a vanilla setting. They are no-pressure, friendly events that will allow you to meet others in your local community. You can even message the organizer ahead of time so they know you are new and can fill you in on what to expect. Don’t be afraid to do this. Generally, people in the BDSM community are very welcoming and they want you to feel comfortable.

You can also visit your local kink/fetish/sex shops. You will usually see fliers posted for local events. That is another great way to get information in advance.

If you are uneasy with any of the above, please let me know and I can talk to you personally or put you in touch with others who have just ventured into the lifestyle by using the same means – and have had great success.

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Dear Mistress, 

My Sub keeps hinting that she wants more dominance, however she has a hard time being the Sub that she thinks she is.

For example, I have to travel for my job and be gone for a week or two at a time. When talking to her on the phone I told her she did not tell me she loved me when had a brief conversation earlier. I know she does, but I like to hear it. When I questioned her about it on the follow up phone call after her evening had settled down, she got a snappy attitude with me. When I let her know that tone is not ok, she threatened to hang up on me. We’ve been married 10 years and have children together so it isn’t an option to get a new Sub. Correct me if I am wrong but I am pretty sure that is not how any of this works.

Dear Disrespected,

You are 100% correct. That is not how it works. My first observation: it’s “submissive” with a lowercase “s.”

If she wants more dominance from you, she needs to understand that her actions have consequences, especially if she is not respecting the dominance you are displaying already. If both of you have a clear understanding of what is and isn’t allowed, there should be no question. My personal motto:

A submissive is only as strong as the Dominant empowers them to be. 

My second observation of the situation is that she does not respect you in that role. If she did, she would want to please you. Ultimately, a good submissive wants to please her Dominant more than anything. That is clearly not the case here. So, you either need to have a serious sit-down to discuss her attitude, or step it up on your end by punishing infractions appropriately, which will make it very clear to her that her behavior is unacceptable and that brats will not be tolerated. Or (and this is a real possibility) she needs to admit that this dynamic is not for her. It might not be. She might not be a natural submissive and you might not be a natural Dominant. I would hate to see you jeopardize your marriage if the dynamic is truly not for you.

If you need to speak to me about appropriate punishments, please contact me. I will be happy to do so.

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About Dear Mistress

Do you have a question for our resident Dear Mistress?

She’s experienced in all things BDSM, power exchange, and general knowledge of anything outside of traditional vanilla relationships. With over 25 years in the lifestyle behind her, she continues to live what she preaches and she’s sharing what she knows with us.

Nothing is off limits. NOTHING. Too embarrassed to ask a friend or afraid your search history will be discovered? Ask Dear Mistress!

Authors: Are you writing a book with BDSM? Ask the Mistress! Just make sure you include your name and email address in the question submission box, and she’ll email you personally.

Check back every #BDSMFriday – or whenever it pleases her – for the answers to your questions.

Want to know more from the Lady in Charge? Visit Dear Mistress’s earlier contributions.

Dear Mistress

Dear Mistress: Skin of Steel, Newbie Punisher, Fetish Curious

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Dear Mistress: Skin of Steel, Newbie Punisher, Fetish Curious

Oh, how I have missed you all! I need to apologize to my faithful readers for my absence over the last four weeks. Life gets hectic, as we all know. It feels so good to be doing this again.
I wanted to share something. I recently came to a realization. I was thinking back over the years to a time when I was much younger; a time long before the internet and social media. It got me reminiscing about the people I had met who helped to shape who I am. I took a chance and looked up a woman that I had worked with when I was a teenager, and I found her on Facebook.

I was so shocked – but probably not as shocked as she was to get my PM. I got the chance to tell her about some of the little things that she had done and said that had such a huge impact on me. She encouraged me then and, she made me feel that it was okay to not be like everyone else. And because of this very brief encounter with her, all those years ago, I felt empowered.

It dawned on me that I am still feeling the impact of it today. Even though the little things she did were really of no significance to her, she essentially, without even knowing it, pushed me to become…me. It just felt so good to say those things to her. To say thank you for being an inspiration and for the guidance she unknowingly provided. I encourage all of you… if you have someone who inspired or helped you in some way, reach out and let them know. We can all help one another. Gratitude is a beautiful thing.

So, as for my aforementioned realization, it’s a simple, yet powerful message. It’s what I will strive to be from now on.

Be who you needed to be when you were younger.

Thank you for reading and for your patience. Always.

-DM

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Dear Mistress,

I need help and any ideas you all have. I am an extreme Masochist. I do not mark at all anymore. Do you have any ideas on how to help someone bruise? I have tried the aspirin route. Thanks in advance.

Dear Skin of Steel,

I’m right there with you. Your skin becomes resilient after a while. However, fear not! There are techniques you can try.

Bettie_Page_Klaw_21 Crop CC1) If you are going for hand marks and bruising, you want to go with squeezing or spanking. If spanking, you want to make sure you are face down, ass up. You want to stretch the skin as much as possible so it’s taut. The more you thin out the skin, the easier it bruises. You want to strike repeatedly at the crease where your ass meets your thigh.

2) You need to switch up the implements you are using and go for something that is stingier. Think flicker, canes (even a metal cane), spiked paddle, metal-tipped or chainmail flogger, knotted flogger, or even a whip. The smaller and tighter the area you are striking, the more severe the impact. The wider the surface area, and the larger the implement, the lesser the force behind the impact, which means less bruising.

3) If you still like the feel of a wider implement, I suggest a wooden paddle or hairbrush. The blunt strike of the solid wood is pretty effective. But again, you need to stretch the skin.

4) AFTERCARE! AFTERCARE! AFTERCARE! Immediately after your session, you want to cover the impacted area with a super HOT, wet towel. Press it over the area. It needs to be very hot. The hot moisture will make the blood vessels open up, which makes for a larger, darker bruise.

Give those a try (and some of the implements listed below) and let me know how you make out:

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Dear Mistress,

I have a girlfriend that wants to test out BDSM with me, but she expects punishments if she breaks the agreed upon rules. What are appropriate punishments in this lifestyle?

Dear Newbie Punisher,

Well, damn. You just got my blood pumping. It’s hard to say what types of punishments will be effective for her without knowing the rules she may be breaking.

Reve_Spanking_2 CCI would start slow and easy. Give her simple tasks. Maybe pleasure her orally. Tell her that she is not allowed to make a sound. If she does, immediately stop what you are doing and slap her lady bits – hard. Keep going. She will learn that she has to do what you say to earn her orgasm.

Give her tasks throughout the day. Maybe something like she has to wear a butt plug at work for an hour. If she doesn’t follow your rules, she gets spanked over your knee, while wearing the plug. If that shows favorable responses, try harder tasks.

You can make her kneel naked on a hard surface with her back straight. If she slouches, she gets a hard slap with a crop to the nipples. If you want to go the extreme route, hold back her orgasms. Edge her repeatedly. You own her orgasm.

There are so many options; it just depends on how she responds and what you find to be effective. The punishment must always be in proportion to the rule that is being broken.

I would love to hear what works for you so we can come up with even better ideas for you. Stay in touch.

BTW, I will just throw this out there, because I see them often. You know those memes that show the naughty woman saying something like she breaks the rules on purpose to be punished? Or that she knows how to push buttons so that she is punished? Yeah. It’s not cute. It’s not funny. It’s being a brat. Do you know what that would earn from me? Your dismissal. And I am sure that’s not the punishment that type of person is looking for. End rant.

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Dear Mistress,

I have a friend who is in a relationship with a guy, but he has a really weird fetish. She is a Sub and he has her have sex with his best friend, and that friend videos it and takes pics to send to him. He gets off watching her and the friend fucking. She has asked me what I would do, and I told her, personally, what she does in her relationship, is what she should feel comfortable with, and that I have done that but eventually I cut it off and told my man I wasn’t going to do it anymore. What would you tell her?

Dear Fetish Curious,

The bottom line is that your opinion, as well as anyone else’s opinion, doesn’t really matter. If it makes her uncomfortable, she needs to speak up. If they have a healthy D/s relationship, discussing limits should be easy and should happen often. There is ALWAYS an opportunity to renegotiate, even if it was something she agreed to previously.

His fetish is not weird; it’s just his fetish. It’s actually very common. If his fetish is not something that she can feed and be honored to do so, she should move on. His role as a Dominant should be to always have her best interests and safety in mind. Her role as a submissive – once TRUST is earned and established – is to willingly hand herself over to her Dominant for his pleasure. If that is not the case, it’s not a healthy dynamic.

As a submissive (lower case ‘s), she should know that she is in the power position. She drives the rules. She says what is and isn’t acceptable. She needs to learn that and fast.

Helpful reading for her:

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About Dear Mistress

Do you have a question for our resident Dear Mistress?

She’s experienced in all things BDSM, power exchange, and general knowledge of anything outside of traditional vanilla relationships. With over 25 years in the lifestyle behind her, she continues to live what she preaches and she’s sharing what she knows with us.

Nothing is off limits. NOTHING. Too embarrassed to ask a friend or afraid your search history will be discovered? Ask Dear Mistress!

Authors: Are you writing a book with BDSM? Ask the Mistress! Just make sure you include your name and email address in the question submission box, and she’ll email you personally.

Check back every #BDSMFriday – or whenever it pleases her – for the answers to your questions.

Want to know more from the Lady in Charge? Visit Dear Mistress’s earlier contributions.

Dear Mistress

By Irving Klaw (http://www.grrl.com/bpbondage.html) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

By Georges Topfer (Le Rêve d’un flagellant) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Dear Mistress: WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER, Real Life Wonderer, Pain in the Ass

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Dear Mistress: WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER, Real Life Wonderer, Pain in the Ass

Handcuffs Icon Black 64Remember that time when Dear Mistress offered a $100 giveaway for her 100th question submitted? Here’s the big winner! If this is your question, please email me (Angie) with your chosen “secret word,” and I’ll pass along your info to Dear Mistress to claim your winnings!

Dear Mistress,
I would like to explore a D/s relationship. The problem is that it is nothing my husband is interested in. He is not a Dom, nor a sub. He is a strong man, but does not enjoy the thought of being a true Dom or Master. (He would have to make decisions and be responsible for them.) I want — no, need — someone who would take control, someone who has expectations, and is willing to tell me what to do, make decisions, someone I can submit to.

I have heard that a D/s relationship doesn’t have to be sexual. That would be a deal breaker for my husband. But how do I go about finding an experienced Dom willing to train a new sub when sex isn’t on the table. I want to go about this right, keep husband happy, but I need to do this for me. Thank you for any advice you can give.

Dear WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER,
As if the winning question should be an easy one to answer – hell no. The positive to your scenario is that you are coming to a true understanding of what you need. Is this a simple question with a simple answer? Absolutely not. It is very true that a D/s relationship does not need to include sex. The control that is given is more psychological in nature. The acts of dominating and submitting answer a need within. That need can be so many different things…the desire to let go of your controlling nature, the desire to serve, to calm and clear your mind, or to feel the power you have over someone else. It’s different for everyone.

After reading your question, what I am wondering is; what are you looking to a Dominant for in regards to taking control? Is this for simple commands such as what to wear, eat, how to act, how you spend your money? Or are your needs more in-depth and emotional? Do you want your Dominant to tell you when and how you should orgasm?

Are you interested in the physical aspect of kink? Do you want them to use implements on you (floggers, crops, restraints, etc.)? All of these questions are going to determine what type of Dominant you need. In terms of “training,” your Dominant will train you to fit their needs, and of course, it needs to be
consensual.

I have to be honest, finding one is not always easy. My suggestion would be to start online and develop a relationship within someone who is looking for the same type of arrangement. You have the opportunity to interview different prospects to see if you have a connection with them and if each of your needs would work well together. I would start a profile online – possibly FetLife. Be very honest about what it is you are looking for. I would also join local groups in your community so you can attend munches to meet people in person to see if you have a connection with anyone. If you have a kink/fetish store in your area, they normally have information and fliers for local events and submissive groups that you can join for support.

I would like you to contact me so we can discuss this further. You can submit a question with your email address if you would like to keep this anonymous, or you are welcome to send me a Facebook PM. I can give you details on how to contact me. I want to help you and it is going to take more than just this
question submission to do so.

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Dear Mistress,
Did you see Fifty Shades Of Grey? Did the Red Room accurately depict the lifestyle? Can you explain what a real “red room” would look like or be called?

Dear Real Life Wonderer,
Yes, I did see the movie. Personally, I loved how they depicted Christian’s “Red Room of Pain.” In terms of how well they did bringing the book to life, I thought they did a great job. In my mind, that is very close to what I visualized. In reality, your own playroom can be whatever you want it to be. I have seen several and each is pretty similar. They are commonly called dungeons or playrooms. There are places you can rent dungeon and playroom spaces; you might be surprised to find out what is in your area.

One of the biggest aspects of a scene is creating an atmosphere that fits the scene. As a Dominant, you create and control the mood you want your submissive to experience. For me, it would be dimly lit with no outside light, all implements and bondage furniture clearly on display so your submissive has no idea what you will use, heady scents of candles burning, and there needs to be a chair for observation. When you enter this room, you immediately have the feeling that it is removed from the outside world and it forces your mind to let go of everything on the other side of the door.

Now doesn’t that sound like fun?

Here are some fun things for your own “Red Room of Pain.”

Book Bed Bench Stockade Chair

New Divider 2 Lines

Dear Mistress,
My hubby is obsessed with anal, but many times it can be painful for me. The toys and plugs feel very pleasurable for me, but to be honest when he inserts his average-size member, I feel as if I am going to explode from the pain. We’ve tried different lubes, plugs prior, etc. yet it still hurts. Can you give any advice on how to submit to his anal obsession that will make it more pleasurable for me? Thank you, Mistress.

Dear Pain in the Ass,
Lots of men are obsessed with anal sex. I get it. I really do. But it can really be a pain in the ass for the receiver. Some women can’t handle it, and that’s ok. There are a few things you can try to train yourself. You just need to keep in mind that you might never be able to accommodate him. It’s not a negative. It’s not a bad thing. It could just come down to physical limitations. Not everyone enjoys anal sex because it’s painful for a lot of women.

  • First – RELAX. I mean, really relax. There’s normal relaxed, and then there’s “you’re about to put what in my butt?” relaxed. Deep breaths and exhale. Exhale upon entry.
  • Second – LUBE and lots of it. They make desensitizing lubes you can try. (See below for some I recommend.)
  • Third – TRAIN. You can use an anal plug kit that has graduating sizes. You need to be sure that the largest plug in the kit is close to the diameter of your husband’s member. You can also try a dildo for anal insertion that is just a touch smaller than your husband to get you used to the sensation after plug training. See the links below on how to properly train.

Of course, I want you to succeed, but I also do not want you to be discouraged if it truly is something that you can’t do. I’m sure you can rock his world in other ways. Your husband should be happy that you’re givin’ it the old college try!

Let us help you discover the pleasures of anal toys and anal stimulation with this intro to anal kit

What you get, with this kit, are items that will help women uncover the stimulations and pleasures of anal play. This kit includes a 5pc anal trainer kit, for finding that ideal size; a desensitizing lubricant to help with ease of insertion; and a bleaching cream that helps keep your anus in pristine condition.

click here to buy from Extreme Restraints

Great Anal Vibrator!

The Inflatable and Vibrating Butt Plug is a manageable size upon insertion but, once inside, it allows you to push your own limits by simply squeezing the bulb pump until you can't take it anymore! This toy is an excellent way to train your partner for large insertions, as well. Turn on the vibrating feature of the plug and fill your slave's ass while they beg you for more. The multiple speeds make it even more fun to stretch that ass from 1.5 inches to almost 3 inches in diameter.

click here to see it on Extreme Restraints

Work your way up to backdoor bliss, with the Crystal Jellies Anal Starter Kit! Perfect for beginners, each plug features a flat comfortable base for easy wearability, while the pronounced head and smooth shaft is sure to make for some jellie jammin' satisfaction! The small plug is 1" in width with a 3" usable length, medium is 1.5" in width with a 4" usable length, while large offers a 2" width with a 5" usable length. These jellies can be worn alone or used with any o-ring compatible harness. Available in Pink, Clear, and Purple. Made of phthalate-free body-safe material, with Doc Johnson's antibacterial Sil-A-Gel formula.

click here to buy on Eden Fantasys

A great 2-Pack for anal care! LIGHTEN-UP™ Anal Lightener uses a gentle cream formula to provide an even, natural skin tone and radiant skin illumination. RELAX™ Anal Relaxer has a natural water-based formula that warms and relaxes anal muscles for easy entry. LIGHTEN-UP™ Anal Lightener boasts Aloe and Vitamin E, while RELAX™ Anal Relaxer uses a water-based formula that is both Lidocaine and Benzocaine Free.

click here to get it from Eden Fantasys

Ease into anal play with the Ass Relax Desensitizing Lubricant

The Ass Relax is designed to help those who are just getting into the pleasures of anal play. The formula glides on easily creating a light numbing effect. Utilize this lube to make anal play more stimulating and enjoyable.

click here to get it on Extreme Restraints

A toy from the Silk line is the perfect choice for a first dildo. This line will allow you to safely try a new experience and not feel awkward or embarrassed about purchasing an extreme toy. The Silks are available in three sizes and are a sensual delight that glide in perfectly smooth. Beautiful in simplicity, the Silk Large comes in 2 feminine colors and in black. The Silks are perfectly safe to use as dilators as well.

click here to get it from Tantus

Training Advice: Anal Training 101 – Beginner’s Guide To Anal Preparation

About Dear Mistress

Do you have a question for our resident Dear Mistress?

She’s experienced in all things BDSM, power exchange, and general knowledge of anything outside of traditional vanilla relationships. With over 25 years in the lifestyle behind her, she continues to live what she preaches and she’s sharing what she knows with us.

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Dear Mistress

Coda by CD Reiss

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Coda by CD Reiss

Favorite Quotes

This dominant beast was built to fuck and to hurt and to live.
You are mine. Any time. Any place. Without questions. You get on your knees when I say. You spread your legs when I say. You open your mouth and take whatever I put in it. Do you understand?
The triangle between her legs was a promise of compliance and unyielding pleasure.
I own you. I own your filthy mouth. I own your dirty mind. When you get wet thinking about fucking, it’s mine. Every drop from you. I own your every thought. You are my property.
I wanted to put my fingers and tongue inside her, my cock, everywhere all at once. Every act of ownership felt incomplete to the totality of my love.

Coda by CD Reiss Quote

The Submission Series (Songs of Submission) — A Certified Favorite

Complete Submission: (The Submission Series, Books 1-8)

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