So you say you’re interested in BDSM, kinky fuckery, or just looking to spice up your sex life.

With the unprecedented success of the Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy, BDSM has thrusted into the spotlight, and the traditionally sexually vanilla world is now rainbow sprinkled.

What does BDSM mean you ask?

The B & D: Bondage and Discipline or Dominance and the S is submission or Sadism and the M is masochism. Under the BDSM title comes many relationship tags, and here are some of the most often used:

D/s — Dominant/submissive
M/s — Master/slave (usually a 24/7 relationship)
D/l — Daddy and little
M/s — Mistress (Madame or Ma’am) and submissive

BDSM Chart

It may sound very scary; and to be honest, FSoG is not a true depiction of the lifestyle. It did, however, introduce some aspects of BDSM that have not been the norm in most bedrooms around the world.

Jumping into Kink play is definitely not as easy as falling into the office of a billionaire. Finding a partner that you trust is key! Asking experienced people in the lifestyle and if you’re in a large city, surprisingly you can find workshops for beginners. Talking about your wants and needs with said trusted partner can open up a whole new world of sexual freedom and satisfaction.
Sit, take a deep breath, and make a list of your hard and soft limits (do’s and don’ts).

Establish a safe word that will stop all play. The whole traffic light analogy is fun too! RED = STOP; YELLOW = proceed with caution; GREEN = GO GO GO (Oh God, YES…don’t stop…HOLY FLUCK…RIGHT THERE! Ahhhhhh. Ummm, Oh wait. I digress..)

So, with the help of a friend in the lifestyle (THANKS, BOO), we have put together the perfect beginners kit for playtime.

blindfold + candle + paddle + tickler + restraints

We both agree that a blindfold should be first and foremost on your list. It helps establish the most important thing in BDSM: trust. It also heightens all other senses. You wonder what your partner is preparing to do to you. If you’re not nervous — at least a little — you’re doing something wrong.


XR Brands Satin Sleep Mask and Blindfold

Set the mood and ambience with drip candles. Bodies lit by candlelight are lovely, and if you’re lucky, maybe your partner will drip a little wax on your belly. Be a good girl now.

You’ve read about spanking in your smutty books (Submission Series, anyone?) and now you want to experience it. Laying over your partners knees is the ultimate in your journey to submission, and this paddle is perfect for the beginner. (The hand works, too. I have a thing for hands.) Be a good girl. Bend over, Cupcake.

When your sight is impaired and you have a feather being gently run across your nipples, you’re lulled into state of ecstasy… then whack!!! You feel the whipping paddle being brought down across your thigh. This is a double sensation you do not want to miss!

Restraints are high on our list for must haves in kink play. I do not recommend metal as they are unforgiving and can leave long lasting marks. These fleece and velcro restraints for wrists and ankles are perfect for the first-timers at play.

As you start your new sexual journey, I want you to remember the number one rule of BDSM: all play is SAFE, SANE and CONSENSUAL. Whether you’re the Dominant or the submissive in your relationship, setting boundaries, establishing trust, and having a thorough line of communication is very important. We hope you enjoy the suggestions we made for you. Not all kink is for everyone. Find what you like, what brings you pleasure, no matter what it is and that my friend is YOUR kink.

Happy Kinking Kids!

Love you. Mean It!

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