With Father’s Day fast approaching, I’m again left to sit and ponder, “What in the HELL am I going to get him this year?”
I’m sure like most of you, I’ve exhausted the aisles of Bass Pro Shops, Dicks Sporting Goods, Target, Walmart, and Home Depot only to come up with the same thing I do every year…nothing, NADA, Zilch-O!
A Duck Dynasty Duck Call is just not going to cut it and the #1 Dad hats are something I now have to dust. Hmmmm. HOLD UP! Wait one damn second here! The last time I checked I am a SMUT reader and peddler. A bonafide Sex Toy columnist!
Why am I considering new tools for the barbecue or that cooler that has cup holders and a USB plug for your phone? I can do better than that and so can you my SMUT loving friends.
We sit nightly with our glass of wine fantasizing and doing the right-hand #diddle with our chosen Book Boyfriend of the week. Well the time has come to bring the fantasy to fruition. Instead of that tie and handkerchief gift set, this year take sometime to make your special gift for the man that gave you that snot-bubbling, screaming spawn you love so much.
Make this year’s Father’s Day all about YOU + him.
The Naughty Box O’ Fun
Naughty Idea #1: Pick that special scene you love so much — you know, that one you’ve #diddled to — print it on pretty paper, spritz with your favorite scent, and sit back while he reads it. A sweet Victory Smile lands on your face because guess what? You now have ALL THE POWER!
Naughty Idea #2: Buy a pretty set of lingerie. It doesn’t have to be LaPerla and Agent Provocateur; Target has lovely nighties, too.
Naughty Idea #3: A cuban cigar. Even if he doesn’t light it, it’s totally HOT.
Naughty Idea #4: A nice bottle of alcohol, whatever your man prefers.
Naughty Idea #5: Light kinky fuckery. Handcuffs or twine, a blindfold, a wooden spoon from the kitchen for a little bum paddling, and a tube of red lipstick because every man has a fantasy of smearing that all over your pretty face.
You want to do something different! Something he will remember. He knows what you read — share with him! You may think he’s not interested, but he really is. Most importantly, women are master manipulators! The whole point of this is to act out what YOU desire.
You want hot sex with that irresistible Book Boyfriend? You, my sweet friend, have a blindfold on. He doesn’t have to know who you’re thinking of…
I’ve done some of the work for you and added some links below for your “Naughty Box O’ Fun” Have fun this Father’s Day girls! Find your Big O!
What are you getting your man for Father’s Day?