Moms read smut. Not my mom—yours.
My mom reads the newspaper and books about Hillary Clinton.
But your mom? She definitely reads smut. If that skeeves you out like it does me, let’s move on to us and our own needs.
We moms of the millennia are taking back our time and spending it living in the fantasy land of other people’s sex lives.
And what’s better than giving us what WE want on OUR special day? Nothing. Nothing is better. Handmade cards and flowers picked from the front yard’s weed patch aren’t good enough for us this year.
This year, we want three things, and we’re not going to be shy about voicing our needs.
Mother’s Day is Me Day
I need 3 things:
1. an e-Reader
2. a gift card for books
3. for everyone to leave me alone
Feel free to share this graphic to your beloved’s Facebook wall, email it to your entire address book, print this out (to print, right-click on the image then open in new tab), tape it to every surface in your house, and sit back on Sunday morning expecting your needs to be met.
For your convenience, I’m providing a quick and dirty list of what we all want for our Me Day. Again, feel free to share this with whomever it is that is responsible for making Mother’s Day all about you.